Sometimes when raising other people’s children, it’s difficult to tell whether we are having any impact at all. Our kids often seem so mired in the aftermath of their trauma that we can’t see how to help them move forward. A recent study gives us hope that our simply being a supportive presence in our kids’ lives can make a profound difference.
Study Results: Protective Adults Are Important
The research, based on responses from 83,495 adults across 13 U.S. states, digs into the effects that childhood abuse—physical, sexual, or both—can have into adulthood. The study noted that those who experienced abuse before age 18 are more likely to face physical health challenges and mental health struggles when they are adults. The positive note in the research, however, is that the presence of a protective adult during childhood can lessen the consequences. The study found that when a child has someone safe and supportive in their corner, the odds of these negative health outcomes drop—sometimes significantly. We can’t erase our kids’ pasts, but we can help them build resilience to better deal with their trauma.
More good news is the definition of “protective adult.” We don’t have to be superheroes. The definition that the study used is an adult who offers stability, safety, and nurture. Our job is to be there consistently and show our children that they’re not alone in facing life’s storms. The study also found that not having a protective adult is associated with health effects just as profound as actually experiencing abuse. For example, adults who rarely or never had a supportive figure in childhood had odds of conditions like COPD or depression similar to those who were physically abused. It’s a powerful reminder that our role isn’t just about preventing harm—it’s about filling a gap that, if left empty, could hurt our children just as much as experiencing trauma.
What This Means for Us
This study reminds us that, even if we weren’t there for the early chapters of a child’s story, we can still help them rewrite the ending. No matter how our child comes to us, our presence matters. Even more important, we don’t have to be perfect, just present. This study reinforces the truth that we can plant seeds for resilience in our children. We might not see the full bloom of our impact today, but it’s growing, quietly and powerfully, with every moment that we show up.
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