Blog: Other People's Children™

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Foster ParentingOctober 21, 2020

We Cannot Let Our Children’s Trauma Define Them

In this season of COVID and demonstrations, I have been struck by the continual insistence on treating people as victims of “the system.” I first encountered this philosophy when I was in law school, where I learned about Critical Race Theory.

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ResilienceOctober 15, 2020

Overcoming the Self-Limiting Stories That Our Children Tell Themselves

Over the past few months, I have been pondering the power of personal narratives. It is inevitable that people will view events through the prism of their individual experiences. My minority friends read stories of black men killed by police...

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ResilienceOctober 12, 2020

Parenting Children with Trauma: Countering ACEs

Parenting children of divorce or other childhood traumas is daunting, but the good news is that positive experiences can help neutralize bad ones. A recently-published study looked at almost 500 children over 10 years, starting in their...

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Foster ParentingSeptember 28, 2020

Parenting Children with Trauma: Effects of Adverse Experiences

One of the things that revolutionized my parenting style was discovering the studies of adverse childhood experiences (ACEs). The term stems from a groundbreaking study in the late 1990s by the Centers for Disease Control and the...

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Foster ParentingSeptember 16, 2020

What to Do When You Don’t Like Your Child

“Oh, the new marriage is going well,” my friend said. “I adore my husband. The only downside . . . .” She hesitated, looked around carefully, then leaned forward and whispered, “I just don’t like his kids.”

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Foster ParentingSeptember 14, 2020

What To Do When Your Child Does Not Want You There

For almost every foster parent or stepparent, there comes a time when a child announces, “I don’t want to be here,” or “I don’t want YOU to be here.” Or the message may not be direct, but a series of subtle slights that add up to the same...

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Parenting TipsSeptember 9, 2020

We Are Not Responsible for Everything

Perhaps because today is World Suicide Prevention Day, I have seen a lot of articles and blog posts this week advising parents how to take care of their children. Having parented depressed and suicidal children, I know how overwhelming...

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CoronavirusSeptember 7, 2020

What to Do When Your Child Threatens Suicide

This is National Suicide Prevention Week, and this year it comes amid reports of increased suicides and depression during the pandemic. If you are parenting a child who is struggling with anxiety and depression, you may hear your...

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Parenting TipsSeptember 2, 2020

Making It Down The Hill

One struggle we all face, but especially when parenting traumatized children, is where to find the strength to keep going. Sometimes the problems our children face can seem insurmountable. The sheer magnitude of the damage they have...

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CoronavirusAugust 31, 2020

Helping Children Cope with Anxiety and Depression During A Pandemic

I am hearing more and more stories from parents about rising anxiety and depression in our children. Most of the reports are anecdotal, but many of us seem to have children struggling with these effects of the coronavirus restrictions.

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BullyingAugust 18, 2020

Cyberbullying Risks Rise During Coronavirus

Coronavirus measures put our children at greater risk of cyberbulllying

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Youth ProtectionJuly 14, 2020

Mentoring or Grooming? What’s the Difference?

Numerous mental health studies suggest that one of the best ways to help children develop resilience and recover...

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Adverse Childhood ExperiencesJuly 14, 2020

Helping Children Recover by Being a Safe Space

For those of us who have traumatized children in our care, it is difficult to know how to help them. A recent study from...

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ResilienceJuly 14, 2020

Building Family Resilience

One topic that I have been pondering lately is how families manage adversity and teach their children to be resilient...

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ResilienceJuly 14, 2020

Which Comes First, Resilience or Self-Esteem?

A pattern that shows up very often in studies of resilience is a high correlation between resilience and self-esteem...

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ResilienceJuly 14, 2020

Resilience Requires Unsupervised Time

One of the most important, and difficult, ways that we can encourage resilience in children is to allow them...

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ResilienceJuly 14, 2020

Encouraging Resilience

One of the better trends in the last decade of caring for children is the recognition that children need to develop...

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Adverse Childhood ExperiencesJuly 14, 2020

Countering Adverse Childhood Experiences

In my last post, I discussed the 20+ years of research on the possible effects of adverse childhood experiences...

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Adverse Childhood ExperiencesJuly 14, 2020

Effects of Adverse Childhood Experiences

One of the most active areas of mental health studies these days is the effect of adverse childhood experience...

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BullyingJuly 14, 2020

Parents Can Help Prevent Bullying

A recent analysis of a national survey indicates that families can help children avoid bullying by developing habits of...

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BullyingJuly 14, 2020

Is It Bullying or Just Conflict?

Bullying issues get a lot of attention these days, because everyone wants to spare children the trauma of true bullying...

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Mental HealthJuly 14, 2020

Not All Stress is Traumatic

In our zeal to protect children from trauma, we risk creating more anxiety by protecting them too much...

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Mental HealthJuly 14, 2020

Reading, Writing, and . . . Mindfulness?

Two recently-published studies claim that mindfulness training can help children cope with stress in school...

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Mental HealthJuly 14, 2020

Anxiety in Kids? Treat the Adults!

An interesting study from the Yale Child Study Center that works with parents instead of their children is being hailed...

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