Today is Tolkien Reading Day. It’s a good excuse for me to revisit my favorite author and think about what his writings and various fairy stories can teach us about this month’s theme of commitment.
The Importance of Commitment
The central theme of “The Lord of the Rings,” as well as many of the most powerful and lasting stories from world literature, revolve around a simple but powerful idea—keeping a promise. In Tolkien’s work, literally the fate of the world hinges on unwavering commitment.
Fairy tales also thrive on the idea of commitment. Think of “Beauty and the Beast”, where Belle promises to return and does so, despite her fears. Or “Rumpelstiltskin,” where a desperate queen pledges her firstborn in exchange for help, only to fight tooth and nail to keep her child. These tales teach us that breaking promises comes with consequences, while keeping them, even in hardship, often leads to transformation or redemption.
The Weight of Commitment
Timeless stories also recognize that keeping our commitments is not easy. In “The Lord of the Rings,” Frodo’s mission isn’t just dangerous—it’s soul-crushing. Carrying the One Ring is a burden that eats away at him, but he doesn’t quit. He is faithful until the Ring overcomes him at the last moment.
The quest succeeds because of Samwise Gamgee—the ultimate picture of commitment. He swore to stick by Frodo’s side, and nothing, not hunger, exhaustion, or even Frodo’s own mistrust, can shake him. He refuses to abandon him, even when the Ring warps Frodo’s mind. If fairy tales teach us that promises matter, Sam teaches us that the greatest commitment isn’t just to a cause—it’s to the people we love.
Commitment in the Small Things
These epic stories remind us that commitment isn’t just about grand, heroic quests. It’s about the small, everyday choices that define who we are—sticking with our children, honoring a promise, staying true to our word. And, just like in these stories, the road won’t always be easy. There will be trials, doubts, and moments when giving up seems like the only option. But the tales we love remind us that the most meaningful journeys are the ones we don’t walk away from.
Conclusion
We can learn much about commitment from the arc of these stories. We made an implicit promise to our foster or stepchildren to care for them and support them. Sometimes they throw things at us that we don’t have the resources to manage or they reject us so thoroughly that there’s no relationship to protect. However, we need to make those breaks a last-ditch option, hanging on to our commitments to our kids until it’s completely useless or seriously unsafe to keep trying. If we can power through, we will discover that, like the heroes and heroines in the old stories, the best endings belong to those who find a way to keep going.
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Interested in learning more?
• Download my free e-book to learn how to stop being the villain in your child’s story.
• Learn more principles of foster parenting and step-parenting from my online courses at YSO Academy.
• Buy my book, Raising Other People’s Children, for more thoughts about being the person who’s not supposed to be there.
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