A new international study has found a direct link between quality parent-child relationships and children’s sense of well-being later in life. The research consisted of surveys of more than 200,000 adults living in 21 different countries. It shares the inherent weaknesses of all self-reported data, but the sheer volume of people involved makes it worth paying attention to.
The researchers tapped into the Global Flourishing Study, a joint venture of Harvard University, Baylor Institute for Studies of Religion, and Gallup that collected data from adults throughout the world. This particular study focused on four factors in the data: (1) the adults’ present sense of well-being, (2) the quality of the parent-child relationship during childhood, (3) the adults’ current level of religiosity, and (4) parents’ religiosity during childhood.
The study found a strong association between the subjects’ memory of positive relationships with their parents and current flourishing and positive mental health. This finding is consistent with attachment theory and attachment-based techniques such as TBRI. A more surprising finding was the strong association between positive adult well-being and parents’ religiosity. Researchers also found a significantly positive relationship with parental marriage. They didn’t find any significant correlation between current well-being and current personal religiosity.
There are two takeaways from this study for those of us raising other people’s children. First, those of us with strong religious beliefs can have a positive impact on our children, regardless of whether they follow our beliefs or not. The important part of our beliefs is how they prompt us to care for our children, regardless of whether they respond or not.
The more universal takeaway is that we need to encourage as strong a relationship between our kids and their biological parents as we can, consistent with their safety. That relationship is foundational to their well-being, and we need to help them focus on it. We can also help as Plan B parents by loving and encouraging our kids on their journey. If their biological parents cannot be present for one reason or another, we can help fill that space in their lives. If they do have a positive (or semi-positive) relationship with their biological parents, we can be an additional resource to provide support and reinforcement. Children can never have too many adults who love them.
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